She is my everything and then some. She is turning out to this amazing young lady that I am so very very proud of.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The reason I have kept my sanity
She is my everything and then some. She is turning out to this amazing young lady that I am so very very proud of.
My Hero
The last picture of my baby girl at her home. Thru it all she was happy and she brought so much happiness to us all. I miss her so very very deeply. I carry her in my heart forever
Always drama chosing to ignore
So the last few days have been drama filled. I will not even write about it. I will say it centers around the loss of MY daughter. I hate September. I wish I could literally run away and turn it all off.
Have I mentioned how much I hate my neighborhood? I wish I would win money even a little with the lottery and I would sell this place under cost just to get out of this neighborhood. People are rude and thoughtless. Woman across the street son is in Miranda's class. So I have the big curriculim night last night and I made the mistake of asking her how her baby is. She has three very healthy boys. She says "he is a boy". She said "there is a special place in heaven for me since I have three boys, how much is it to ask to have a girl, I did not want another boy I think God is out to get me (or something like that)?" I was tounge tied and so many words wanted to come out of my mouth and I only said "you are right you have a special place in heaven" and walked off. What a stupid a**, she knows all about Lauren. Please PEOPLE PLEASE do not say these things around me, use the thing that is suppose to be in your head and between your ears. Idiots. Then at the bus stop one of the kids had a fake tattoo. One of the Moms said "these kids and their tattoos". One of the Dads says "yes probably sending the wrong message by letting them think it is ok to brand your body with ink". I was ok with that comment whatever. Then that same Mom says "people with tattoos are classless and set a bad example for their children". I totally shot the dirty look of the year at her. Hey Honey, would you like to sit down and my husband and I will explain our tattoos to you. Stupid judgemental people.
My crazy crazy dog gets a bottle cap in his mouth last night at midnight clearly from Miranda leaving it on the bed. So I get up to get him a pretzel so he would release it. Well he took both pretzels and still kept the bottle cap in his mouth. So after twenty minutes of this GAME, I took him downstairs and got the bread out (his favorite) and he licked up the bread and swalloed the cap............I was up until half past midnight with this crazy mutt. Then I am pissed so I do not let him sleep with me. He whines and cries literally like a baby for half an hour waking up the whole house so I put him in bed with me. He lays on top of me (we have serious snug fest 24/7) and burps in my face then lays at the end of the bed and sighs this big sigh. Where did I go wrong with this mutt, I believe he is part human, I seriously do.
So I am off tonight to celebrate Tammy, Dustin, Scot and I's birthday at my Mom's house. FUN FUN.
Pretty boring week this week minus the drama
Have I mentioned how much I hate my neighborhood? I wish I would win money even a little with the lottery and I would sell this place under cost just to get out of this neighborhood. People are rude and thoughtless. Woman across the street son is in Miranda's class. So I have the big curriculim night last night and I made the mistake of asking her how her baby is. She has three very healthy boys. She says "he is a boy". She said "there is a special place in heaven for me since I have three boys, how much is it to ask to have a girl, I did not want another boy I think God is out to get me (or something like that)?" I was tounge tied and so many words wanted to come out of my mouth and I only said "you are right you have a special place in heaven" and walked off. What a stupid a**, she knows all about Lauren. Please PEOPLE PLEASE do not say these things around me, use the thing that is suppose to be in your head and between your ears. Idiots. Then at the bus stop one of the kids had a fake tattoo. One of the Moms said "these kids and their tattoos". One of the Dads says "yes probably sending the wrong message by letting them think it is ok to brand your body with ink". I was ok with that comment whatever. Then that same Mom says "people with tattoos are classless and set a bad example for their children". I totally shot the dirty look of the year at her. Hey Honey, would you like to sit down and my husband and I will explain our tattoos to you. Stupid judgemental people.
My crazy crazy dog gets a bottle cap in his mouth last night at midnight clearly from Miranda leaving it on the bed. So I get up to get him a pretzel so he would release it. Well he took both pretzels and still kept the bottle cap in his mouth. So after twenty minutes of this GAME, I took him downstairs and got the bread out (his favorite) and he licked up the bread and swalloed the cap............I was up until half past midnight with this crazy mutt. Then I am pissed so I do not let him sleep with me. He whines and cries literally like a baby for half an hour waking up the whole house so I put him in bed with me. He lays on top of me (we have serious snug fest 24/7) and burps in my face then lays at the end of the bed and sighs this big sigh. Where did I go wrong with this mutt, I believe he is part human, I seriously do.
So I am off tonight to celebrate Tammy, Dustin, Scot and I's birthday at my Mom's house. FUN FUN.
Pretty boring week this week minus the drama
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Loving my new camera
Here is a gorgeous shot. I got this great camera only to drop it and break the LCD screen three weeks later.........
It is in the repair shop right now. Hoping to get it back next week. It takes awesome pictures. I will post some more tomorrow.
So I am blogging
Well since my dear friends Erin and Donna can blog I guess I can too, huh? September is such a difficult month it stabs like a knife with pointy sharp edges most days dull other days. I can remember each day and think back to how in the world did I walk in those shoes I walked in and how did I survive it. I try to "act" excited about halloween, fall time, pumpkin patch visits, thanksgiving, etc for Miranda and part of me does like some of it.(well the pumpkin pie and OSU football and football snack treats that I make for Scot and I) Well enough of that on to the latest in our lives.
Miranda is taking voice lessons once a week and jazz class once a week. Move over Miley Cyrus!! She is doing very well at school. I go to the big meet and greet the teacher tomorrow night with all the other parents. She plays every night with the neighbor kids until bath time and dinner time. It drives me insane that she would rather be with them but I get it. She is growing up so fast. She is obsessed with her body development!!! She says this morning. This shirt makes my boobies look big I want to change into another one. They actually are bumping out and some shirts you can tell it and Scot always gives me a look like change it already and hush about it. Poor Daddy. She is so tall. She is learning to water ski even though Mommy has a cow each time she tries. I have never water skiied but it looks hard. She got out of the water for ten seconds or less on Sunday. We all cheered in the boat, well Mommy, Daddy and Tinker.
Scot is not really caring for his job at all. I hate it for him. I hope it picks up and soon.
I am still looking for a job but wondering at this point weather or not to just wait until after the cruise.
We set sail in thirty some days!!!!! We are all so excited about it.
We decided to escape this New Year's with a trip to the Mall of America. We leave on New Year's Eve and stay thru the weekend. We have not told Miranda yet, hoping to surprise her or if I get a job and cannot get off then we will have to cancel. Nothing says running away from the grief like retail therapy.
Miranda is taking voice lessons once a week and jazz class once a week. Move over Miley Cyrus!! She is doing very well at school. I go to the big meet and greet the teacher tomorrow night with all the other parents. She plays every night with the neighbor kids until bath time and dinner time. It drives me insane that she would rather be with them but I get it. She is growing up so fast. She is obsessed with her body development!!! She says this morning. This shirt makes my boobies look big I want to change into another one. They actually are bumping out and some shirts you can tell it and Scot always gives me a look like change it already and hush about it. Poor Daddy. She is so tall. She is learning to water ski even though Mommy has a cow each time she tries. I have never water skiied but it looks hard. She got out of the water for ten seconds or less on Sunday. We all cheered in the boat, well Mommy, Daddy and Tinker.
Scot is not really caring for his job at all. I hate it for him. I hope it picks up and soon.
I am still looking for a job but wondering at this point weather or not to just wait until after the cruise.
We set sail in thirty some days!!!!! We are all so excited about it.
We decided to escape this New Year's with a trip to the Mall of America. We leave on New Year's Eve and stay thru the weekend. We have not told Miranda yet, hoping to surprise her or if I get a job and cannot get off then we will have to cancel. Nothing says running away from the grief like retail therapy.
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